The Epic Journey of a Fat Kid

Age 8 through age 16 were the toughest years of my life.

I'm not going to sit here and nitpick the reasoning behind the incredibly cruel things said to me throughout most of grade school. Instead, I'd rather document some high points (low points) that helped shape who I am, and thus my reasoning behind being slightly crazy. I am slightly crazy, by the way. Bipolar with no attention and some anxiety/OCD sprinkled about. I smoke a lot of pot, and that's kind of where it started.

Grade 7, hanging out with the cool trouble-maker. I still remember his name vividly as it would lead to one of the most influential moments of my life - though I didn't know it at the time. I can still see his crusty blond long shaggy hair and sense his sociopathic undertones. We smoked a joint. I went home and passed out on my parent's sofa and was obviously found out though the punishment was nothing more than a stern talking to and maybe a week of grounding, who knows?

The next week at school I decided to buy a "dimebag" (back when that term was even around) from him, thus indirectly buying it from the Asian gangs of my middle school. Something went wrong, the Vice Principal comes storming to my French class, yanks me out, and proceeds to search me in the main office until I forked over my $10 measily sack of terrible pot. (If I knew then what I know now, ...)

Ok so aside from soon facing a 10 day suspension, plus an 11 day expulsion (yes, 11 days is common if you have good grades) I got to come back to school with everyone thinking I ratted this kid out. Not the case. He ratted me out, but because he was cooler than I was, you get the point. Skip to 8th grade where I spent even more time as the rat, tried to blend in, it just didnt work.

Fast forward to high school, somehow picking up a "gay" rumor along the way (which in all fairness was sort of my fault - I accompanied a female friend to a gay/lesbian club meeting and it just so happened to be yearbook picture day. During the hustle and bustle, I ended up in the photo and throughout high school and even into college, I have had to deny that rumor.
It even cost me acceptance to a fraternity, as an undergrad.

Ok, so you may think this isn't all bad, being betrayed, forced to be an outcast, and all the time fat. Any word to me was either a fat joke or something related to being gay, and fat.

At age 16 and 226 pounds @ 5'6, I had enough. Something snapped. Not snapped, per se, but changed. My willpower became the strongest thing driving me. I promised myself I would never, ever, EVER, be fat again. Little did I know this mantra would be the best choice I ever made, and the worst haunting choice at the same time.

Today I'm 5'10 and 174 lbs. The lightest I've been was in Dec 2006 - 5'10 @ 155 lbs. Damn I looked sharp then. I put on a little weight, though thankfully it's muscle and not fat from what I can tell. Mainly because I was forced to by my parents and the hospital, but also because I found a medication regiment that works for me. Keeps me level and for the longest time was keeping the E.D. in check. E'D' is short for eating disorder, duh.

These last 2 months have been tough on me. It's back in full force. So I'm going to write about my adventures and if I fade off into some malnourished frail wackjob, at least my memoirs will clear up any confusion.

I'm a genius and yet I'm as dumb as anyone.