AWESOME NEWS FOR ME

hello fans.. 13 pounds lost. 13! i'm so excited. my pants are too big, my sugar addiction is subsiding greatly, and i finally got the order of Rimonabant from India to arrive.. for those who didn't see the earlier post on that medication, it's not approved for US use by the FDA, but the Indian government sees nothing wrong with it =]
it's a fantastic anoretic and not only helps obese people stop eating by literally killing appetite, it makes the thought of sugar disgust me. ROCK

so i'm down to 177.0 lbs and am almost halfway there. this has been a very successful fasting project 3.0, even with the occasional slip ups. i've realized i lose weight more rapidly if i fast completely for 4 or 5 days, then have a little something.. even haagen daas coconut ice cream, it tricks my metabolism into thinking i'm eating regularly again and thus burns calories back at the normal speed. it's a rollercoaster of eat / no eat, but it kicks fucking ass as a constantly downward weight loss plan. haven't gained a single pound back from day one.

to my fans.. i love you. i'm sick in the head so be sure you understand what you're getting into before trying my zaney approach. i'm going to furnish some photos soon of my body only because i'm hoping to keep this blog on an anonymous level. i dont want people emailing my personal address being like "OH YOU ARE RUINING YOURSELF." that is not what it's about.

but now, i have to smoke lots of pot. only 17 lbs remaining and I will have reached my target weight of 160 @ 5'10, the perfect weight for a breakdancer hip hop crazy kid.

p.s. if any of you want help designing a plan that will fit into your own life, don't hesitate to comment.. it's obviously working for me ;)

ooops..i lost count

this ones going to be funny...

so i can't recall how many days it's been now.. i think today marked 2 weeks and 1 full days i've been eating correctly. don't tell anyone but over the weekend at my sister's crib i had some cookies, and then i decided to chase it down on sunday with an entire box of a dozen donuts, mixed pack. then i went completely cold turkey again on monday morning, and didn't gain a pound. weird. but, it also fucked up my plan.. set me back a week at least, and more reason to hate on myself.

by the way, i ran out of one of my meds going on 2 weeks ago, now. i keep checking the mailbox everyday and everyday it doesn't show. the doc just RAISED this one too so i need it. it had better show up tomorrow, got damnit.. im beginning to freak out a little.. ocd is all in your head, homeboy.. stop fidgeting so much

to make things worse, i opened the mailbox today and saw a package of meds! i was like 'sweeeeeeeet' but after opening it, i was sorrily disappointed to see it was a refill of a medication i already have plenty of. fuck you medco, your business fucking sucks. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. pot helps but its not the real thing. if you're wondering, it's klonopin. yeh. if you're familiar, you're famliar.

it's been a topsy turvy week. i settled out alright though.. took some laxatives last night, cleaned my system out so i'm back on track. i'll be thin and gorgeous in time for the beauty pagent.

i decided, to reward myself for losing weight, i'm going to go on a cruise. (i know, this doesn't make sense) however the time that i can most enjoy eating the fine cuisine aboard a luxury megaship is when i'm most comfortable and thin. so, now to decide where? probably bermuda as i want to be able to bring chronic with me. fuck airport feds.

some of my homies write to me and comment on this blog. they tell me they're concerned or troubled or upset. that's not what this is. this isn't a call for help. this isn't some secret plea for an intervention, i assure you. i've very confident in who i am, i know precisely why i do the things i do, and i have the willpower (obviously) to make changes that i want to make. obviously i enjoy what i do. this is more of a testament to willpower than a look into an eating disorder. for what is an eating disorder other than a fixation on controlling one's behavior through strict regiment?

in other words, read this for what it is. a perspective on someone who has a colorful mind.. a beautiful mind (except for all the visions) but more importantly, remember that the most interesting, amazing, and life-changing people you will meet are the ones who broke the rules, who walked the FINE line between genius and insanity, but even more significantly, who knew exactly what they were doing. and, they commanded a following.

be my sheep, folks.. i won't let you get sick, word up.

Day Niner: Victory Approaches

9 mother fucking days. i've been living off the extreme meagers and doing very well. as i said before, i got some protein to tide me over in emergency situations, but honestly i've barely had anything but a few peanuts and diet sodas or crystal lite. they say (another word for 'some old wives tale i heard') that 1 peanut has the same amount of consumable, usuable energy as an entire apple..

lost 10 lbs total now. doing well and proud of myself. going to enjoy meat this weekend for the 4th. nothing new to report.. will provide some tips or a fun article shortly